The long way home…

yellow dandelions in the spring

Happy Caturday!

Thanks for joining me and all the other Weekend Writing Warriors and Sunday Snippeteers as we share 8 sentences of fiction.

Here’s another eight from my spec fic The Unforgiven Two, set a century in the future in the small city of Forsythia, Oregon. Last week Psyche divulged some important information about her family. After school she slipped away from her friends to run home on her own.

Psyche ran the first few blocks, slowing to a walk after she’d passed out of sight of the school. She cut through the new development that replaced the abandoned Walmart, and toward her own neighborhood. She always took the long way home, even when she wasn’t dropping by Heather’s first. The other way only reminded her of what lay past her home, past the deceptively empty fields and innocent-seeming homes and barns.

As she turned onto her street Psyche’s feet slowed and she watched the same green van pass her for the second time. It was going the speed limit, but twenty-five was slow enough for her to see the tinted windows and a fancy antenna—made to look like some kind of redneck van accessory—sitting on top. She broke into a run and ducked down the next street. By the time she’d doubled back and made it home she was sweaty and out of breath.


Thanks for reading!

Don’t forget to hop around and check out what the amazing authors in the Snippet Sunday group are up to this weekend!



15 responses

  1. This is so well-written…love the last line of the first paragraph and the description of the van. I can picture everything so clearly.

    April 5, 2014 at 8:59 am

  2. Well the van certainly adds an ominous note and I’m thoroughly intrigued by what might lie beyond the fields…really an excellent excerpt!

    April 6, 2014 at 10:06 am

  3. I’m intrigued by the “deceptively empty” fields… and that van is definitely unnerving! Can’t wait to read more!

    April 6, 2014 at 10:34 am

  4. Nice descriptions of her running home. That green van makes me suspicious. I wonder if it’s following her? Glad she made it home unscathed.

    April 6, 2014 at 11:37 am

  5. Sounds like twins are the norm….

    April 6, 2014 at 11:41 am

  6. So, not only is she a “single” who may or may not live in a “compound”, but she’d being stalked by a mysterious van that’s wired for sound.

    Whoa. More, please!

    April 6, 2014 at 12:16 pm

  7. Your readers will definitely be turning pages as quickly as possible! Why are the fields “deceptively empty?” Why are the homes and barns innocent-seeming? And what’s with the van that’s stalking her? Lots of foreboding in this snippet.

    April 6, 2014 at 1:23 pm

  8. That van really looked scary, nice description.

    April 7, 2014 at 8:27 pm

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