A magnetic bit of snippetry…

gingerbread-cookie-in-the-shape-of-a-heart-with-yin-yang-symbol-913-824Hiya all!

It’s snippet time again! Check out two amazing groups of writers, at Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday! But since you’re already here you might as well read mine first.  🙂

Here’s another 8 sentences from my short story “It’s Not Our Fault.” It picks up immediately where last week’s leaves off (you can read that snippet here).

She chose the cinnamon roll and even though she wasn’t a tiny little person (from my vantage point behind a line of people waiting for their lunch orders she looked taller than me) it was so big it didn’t fit in her palm—the icing glistened under the store’s florescent lights, like her lips. I wasn’t hungry anymore, but as I watched her pay for her food and sit at the table in the exact center of the dining area, I realized I was going to stay. I got an organic soda and sat at the counter. With a newspaper open in front of me I felt free to savor every detail of her; her hair, the yellow of the yellow crayon, fell like a fountain around her head, perfectly chin-length except for the window framing her angelic face. She wore just enough black eye makeup without going overboard, and her silver bangle bracelets and rings caught the light as she brought bites of cinnamon roll to her pink lips. It wasn’t easy to keep from staring at her. She ate her roll with a knife and fork and as far as I could tell didn’t leave one crumb, even on the napkin she used as a plate. She wasn’t what you’d call classically beautiful, but she had a magnetic attitude that shouted, yes, you want to know me; yes, you’d be lucky to know me.

 

Thanks for reading!

In case you missed my scream when I opened the email, Harmony Ink Press contracted this story. It’s scheduled for release on September 4, in the First Time for Everything anthology!

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21 responses

  1. Congrats on your contract and I do think I heard your scream. This is a nice descriptive piece – well done.

    June 1, 2014 at 2:57 am

    • Thanks, K! Hope you weren’t sleeping. 🙂

      June 1, 2014 at 7:38 pm

  2. Congratulations on the publishing deal!
    I enjoyed the excerpt, but my eyes are older than my attitude. Any chance you could make the font a bit larger?

    June 1, 2014 at 5:22 am

    • Thanks, Chip. Ah, I thought it was my monitor! Thanks for pointing it out, I’ll see what I can do. 🙂

      June 1, 2014 at 7:38 pm

  3. Congratulations!

    I love the last lines of this even more than the description. The narrator is toast. 🙂

    June 1, 2014 at 6:12 am

    • Thanks! Yep…he has a lot to learn before I’m finished with him. 😉

      June 1, 2014 at 7:39 pm

  4. Congratulations! I could see her too. (On a side note, would it be possible for you to add a link back to WeWriWa?)

    June 1, 2014 at 7:03 am

    • Oops, sorry Millie! I’ll fix that up. Lately I’m lucky my head is firmly attached! 🙂

      June 1, 2014 at 7:40 pm

  5. I could picture the scene very well. Good snippet, and congrats on your acceptance!

    June 1, 2014 at 7:38 am

  6. Congratulations on the contract! This was a very descriptive excerpt, felt like I was there. Great snippet!

    June 1, 2014 at 8:55 am

  7. siobhanmuir

    Congratulations on getting your story contracted, Charli. 🙂

    June 1, 2014 at 9:26 am

    • Thanks for your support, Siobhan! You rock. 🙂

      June 1, 2014 at 7:44 pm

  8. Wonderful description and I love the last line. Great eight!

    June 1, 2014 at 10:16 am

  9. Great visuals and details.

    June 1, 2014 at 3:20 pm

  10. Great description with lots of details, but what I really love is that the attraction seems to be more than just physical — you’ve captured her “presence” well and I can’t wait to “meet” her.

    June 3, 2014 at 6:45 pm

  11. Pingback: Following up on the feels… | Charli Green: YA LGBT Fiction, Books for the Bs

  12. Pingback: It’s not stalking if you’re a nice guy… | Charli Green: YA LGBT Fiction, Books for the Bs

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