It’s not stalking if you’re a nice guy…

Hello snippetteers!

Here’s another one from It’s Not Our Fault. It’s the solitary paragraph between the two I’ve already given you (after this one, and before last week’s, to be precise).


Jordan’s in the cafe, watching Nay eat her cinnamon roll.


And I did want to know her. I also thought I could fall for her, so I wasn’t sure if I should talk to her. Too scary, the thought of chasing such a cool and confident girl. Failure, royally crashing and burning, was my norm where girls were concerned. I did want to know what kind of underwear she wore, what color sheets she slept on, and if it’s true that you know a real blonde when you see one intimately. The chances of any of that happening were nonexistent. Twice while she was eating she looked up, coincidentally right at me, but I kept my head down like I was absorbed in the sports section and everything was cool. I hung around while she ate her cinnamon roll, and when she left I followed her.


 Thanks for reading!

I hope you’re enjoying my YA snippets. Don’t forget to check out the other contributors to Weekend Writing Warriors and Snippet Sunday!




7 responses

  1. Very believable internal thinking this character is doing! Great snippet!

    August 3, 2014 at 12:19 pm

  2. I like the stream-of-consciousness here, and an interesting character you have. Great snippet 🙂

    August 3, 2014 at 6:14 pm

  3. He might be shy, but he is going to freak her out. He is freaking me out already.

    August 3, 2014 at 6:50 pm

  4. Jordan is an interesting character. I had to go back and read the snippet from last week to get a better sense of what was going on. I really like the awkwardness of this character. He does come across as a bit of a stalker, and I can’t really tell if he knows it, but I think he does recognize his social ineptness when it comes to this girl. Great snippet!

    August 3, 2014 at 7:34 pm

  5. Well done. You’ve captured all of the uncertainty of young love/attraction perfectly.

    August 3, 2014 at 9:46 pm

  6. Aww… poor guy. I hope she makes the first move before he worries himself to death.

    August 3, 2014 at 10:02 pm

  7. Karen Michelle Nutt

    Love his inner thoughts– his insecurity and his attraction. Well done.

    August 3, 2014 at 11:17 pm

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