An answering snippet

ITSNOTOURFAULT_FBThumbOkay kids, it’s snippet time again!

This is another 8 from my YA story “It’s Not Our Fault” and it should answer the nagging question—if Jordan stalks a girl, how can it be a queer romance?

If anyone’s interested in the whole “stalking” thing the rest of the snippets are here.

As usual, please ignore the creative punctuation. The antho was well-edited and as far as I know does not contain such run-on sentences. 🙂

I’ve clipped the end of the scene with Mr. Thrift Store-Preppy, and this starts a new section.

 

 

SO, YOU can imagine how I felt the first day of my photography class when I walked in and saw her brother sitting in the exact center of the room, fooling around with the settings on an amazing camera. The guy had the same angelic profile, all the way down to the pretty pink lips. Maybe a twin? But even twins wouldn’t look that much alike. He tilted his head to get a closer look at… something… and slipped his pinkie into his mouth just like— That wasn’t her brother.

I chose the seat closest to the door, in case any part of her—him?—was still angry with any part of me, and tried to forget she was there by looking through some of my photos. I came across one from that day, and it seemed like a good time to study it; I’d been walking on NW Ninth, a few blocks from Powell’s, the focal point of the shot was a particularly striking architectural feature that I couldn’t remember the name of with the scent of vanilla filling the room.

 

Thanks for reading!

 

 

 Okay, snippet-lovers, it’s time to fly and be free–check out more tasty little morsels of fiction offered by the great folks at Snippet Sunday and Weekend Writing Warriors!

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11 responses

  1. Interesting situation you’ve set up.
    Victor/Victoria?

    Nice 8!

    September 6, 2014 at 3:31 pm

  2. Ha! I was right about her! him! the person Jordan was stalking! *high fives myself*

    September 6, 2014 at 10:19 pm

    • Cool! I tried to drop hints without being obvious I was dropping hints. *high fives*

      September 6, 2014 at 10:32 pm

  3. I chose the seat closest to the door, in case any part of her—him?—was still angry with any part of me . . .

    I like that Jordan isn’t focused on gender issues (except pronouns, which is only polite) but on personal safety. I also like how he’s still totally attracted. 😀

    September 7, 2014 at 5:16 am

    • Thanks, Sarah! Yeah, Jordan’s pretty well hooked. 😀

      September 7, 2014 at 3:34 pm

  4. Feather Stone, a bit on the wild side.

    I resist repunctuating to squeeze in 8-10. Long sentences tend to bore me – and I have a short attention span. My editors insist ‘shorter has greater impact’. If the the sentence is well worded, the image and emotion has a better chance to keeping the reader tuned in – in my humble opinion. It’s a challenge I struggle with from chapter 1 to the epilogue.

    September 7, 2014 at 11:27 am

  5. Mystery right at the start.

    September 7, 2014 at 12:56 pm

  6. Ooh, intriguing development! I never saw this coming but I’m totally hooked. Great 8!

    September 7, 2014 at 4:45 pm

  7. I didn’t see it coming either. Nice twist. And I liked the touch of vanilla scent–appealing to multiple senses. 🙂

    September 7, 2014 at 6:38 pm

  8. Now, that’s interesting. I like his confusion about her/his gender. And still he sounds attracted to him/her either way.

    September 11, 2014 at 10:40 am

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